Why is it that we tend to give each other a pass when it comes to the sin of complaining? Is it because we’ve adopted the worldly assumption that everyone needs to blow off a little steam sometimes (i.e., venting)? Is it because we believe it’s better to be authentic than fake in the company of others (i.e., – “I’m just saying” or “I’m just keeping it real”)? Is it because we think it will somehow change our circumstances? Whatever the reason may be, it is ultimately an excuse, given what God says about complaining in His Word.
In Exodus 16, when the people of Israel complain against Moses and Aaron, saying that they brought them into the wilderness to kill them (vv. 2-3), Moses points out that they are really grumbling against the LORD (vv. 7-8). Further, in Philippians 2:14-15, Paul shows us the gravity of complaining, by revealing the powerful impact of refusing to grumble. When we do this, we show ourselves to be “blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom [we] shine as lights in the world.” The implication here is that complaining negatively affects your witness before the world.
God clearly doesn’t take complaining lightly, and neither should we. But to do this, we need to define complaining. In his book, Stop Your Complaining, Ronnie Martin says, “[Complaining is] forgetting who God is.”1Ronnie Martin, Stop Your Complaining, p. 16. When we complain, we sinfully express discontentment because we have not prioritized remembering God’s character and promises. What, then, do we forget about God when we complain? The list is long, but we will narrow it down to five things.
First, when we complain, we forget that God is our ultimate authority. Consider the words of William Barcley on complaining: “It comes down to this: are we letting God be God, the Sovereign of the universe who orders all things for our good and His glory? Or, do we consider God to be at our disposal, providing for us and ordering our lives as we think best?”2William Barcley, The Secret of Contentment, p. 52. When we remember that God is God and we are not, we don’t complain when He brings difficult circumstances into our lives. Instead, we respond to Him like Mary did when Gabriel announced to her that she, as a virgin, would bear the Son of God in her womb: “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38).
Second, when we complain, we forget that God has richly poured His grace upon us in Christ. In Ephesians 1:3, Paul tells us that God has blessed us “in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places” (emphasis mine), but when we complain, we act like God has left us spiritually impoverished. As Stephen Altrogge says, “How often do we lift our heads from the buffet of God’s blessings only to voice a complaint?”3Stephen Altrogge, The Greener Grass Conspiracy, p. 104. The truth is that on our worst day, because of God’s amazing love, we are God’s cherished children to whom He has granted all His precious promises. Absolutely nothing can separate us from His infinite love as He guards us through faith until we reach our inheritance, which is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading (Romans 8:38-9; 1 Peter 1:4-5).
Third, when we complain, we forget that God knows what is best for us. Experiencing undesirable circumstances may provoke us to let go of sweet promises, such as the one found in Psalm 84:11, “No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” Difficulty doesn’t feel good, so we grumble as if we get to define what is truly good for us. But conformity to Christ is far better than physical comfort or social approval, and God has tailor-made “all things” in our lives to achieve that purpose (Romans 8:28-29). When we remember this, instead of complaining, we trustingly say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that” (James 4:15).
Fourth, when we complain, we forget that God has freed us from the sin of complaining. Because we are united to Christ in His death and resurrection, we don’t have to complain. It’s not inevitable. You can choose to respond in a way that pleases God in your speech. In fact, because the enslaving power of sin has been “brought to nothing” and we have been raised to “walk in newness of life”, we have all the power necessary to renounce complaining in exchange for Christ-exalting contentment in every aspect of our lives (Romans 6:4-11). Therefore, even when everyone else at work is grumbling about your boss, you can choose to work hard with gratitude knowing that God has given you a job that you don’t deserve in the first place (Colossians 3:23-24). When the price of eggs has gone up again, you can choose to remind your spouse that God has always provided for the family.
Fifth, when we complain, we forget that God Himself is our satisfaction. When we yield to the flesh, we believe the lie that contentment is based on our circumstances. So, we complain, thinking that we missed out on joy because things didn’t go the way we wanted. The truth is that, regardless of our circumstances, we can be satisfied because God is our satisfaction, and He will never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). In Psalm 73, Asaph believed that he needed comfort and prosperity to be content (vv. 12-14), but on the other side of repentance he rightly sees God as the “strength of [his] heart and [his] portion forever” (v. 26). The greatest gift of the gospel is God Himself – “For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that He might bring us to God” (1 Peter 3:18). There will be many desirable circumstances we will never experience, but compared to the sweetness of fellowship with God, they are all like turning on a flashlight in the noonday sun.
Sadly, complaining remains a sin that is all too common, but it doesn’t have to be…for you or for me. The remedy lies in remembering our great God—who He is and what He’s done for us in Christ. For every temptation to complain, there is a truth in God’s Word to counter it…if only we refuse to forget.
This article was initially published on the website of Center for Biblical Counseling and Discipleship.
