I have a deep love for productivity. Few things bring me more joy than crawling into bed at the end of the day with my extensive mental to-do list fully checked off and successfully completed. Words like organization, planning, and clear direction are like music to my ears. So, you can imagine my bewilderment and discomfort when God, in His sovereignty, led me into a season of uncertainty and chaos, accompanied by a level of busyness that I was entirely unprepared for and unable to handle in my own strength.
I was happily moving through my ordinary life. Everything seemed to be in order. My husband worked full-time, and I was a stay-at-home mom who homeschooled our two children. I had the privilege of using my free time to engage in various ministries connected to our local church, such as biblical counseling, Bible studies, discipleship, and hospitality. Then, God allowed my well-ordered life to unravel.
As my husband prepared to retire from the military, we decided to start our own business. It was a scary but exciting venture, filled with endless possibilities. However, one fateful day, my husband suffered an injury that changed everything. Suddenly, there were long stretches of time when he couldn’t get out of bed. Even the simple task of putting on his own socks and shoes became impossible. Our lives began to revolve around ER visits and scheduled doctor’s appointments. To make matters worse, despite consulting numerous specialists, no one could diagnose my husband’s condition or suggest a solution.
Overnight, I became a caregiver to my husband, a ‘single’ parent to my kids, and the sole adult responsible for keeping our new business afloat. Exhaustion and confusion consumed me. I had entered a season where I woke up each morning and immediately wondered, “What will happen today?” My routines and plans vanished. Each day was different, but the themes remained the same. My day was going to be too busy. The list of things to be done would be too long. I was going to be too tired. And my natural abilities were going to be no match for what this day would demand. It is here where God met me. It is here where God invited me and taught me what it meant to rest in Him. Sweet rest, unwavering rest…amidst the chaos. Because even though my plans were interrupted, God’s plan is not.
The lessons God imparted during this challenging time have better equipped me to provide comfort, wisdom, and encouragement to the exhausted, overwhelmed and discouraged counselee sitting across from me (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). By God’s grace, here are some of the lessons I learned:
- Acknowledging Our God-Given Limitations: God created us with limitations. He is God, and we are not. We are finite beings who require rest. Unfortunately, we often tie our sense of worth and value to our productivity, leading us to disdain our limitations and natural need for rest. It’s tempting to equate our limitations with deficiency or failure. However, God taught me that I needed to graciously accept my limitations and reassess my expectations. I couldn’t do it all, and that was perfectly okay. With the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I learned to reevaluate my daily expectations. What did I truly need to accomplish that day? Did my to-do list align with the priorities and responsibilities God ordained for me as a wife and mother? Where was I substituting God’s glory with the pursuit of my own glory in how I allocated my time and energy? Through a combination of providential trials and my limitations, God showed me my complete dependence on the everlasting God who never slumbers or sleeps (Psalm 121). My weaknesses provided the stage for God to demonstrate His goodness, power, and perfect grace in my life (2 Corinthians 12:9).
- Active Spiritual Rest: Rest is often perceived as a ceasing from activity, but spiritual rest is often active and intentional. We cannot do anything in our own strength; we must renew our spirits by purposefully seeking our Savior’s presence (John 15:4, 2 Peter 1:3). Just as Jesus relied on Scripture to combat temptation and intentionally withdrew to solitary places to commune with the Father, we should do the same (Matthew 4:4, Mark 1:35, Luke 5:16). As the demands of my daily life increased, so did my need to depend on God who gives power to the weak and strength to the weary (Isaiah 40:28-31). I required something beyond myself to strengthen, encourage, and guide me through this uncertain season (Ephesians 3:16, 20; 2 Peter 1:3-4). My day needed to be saturated in prayer and meditation on the living and active Word of God (Psalm 1:2-3, 1 Thessalonians 5:17). At times, I had to discipline myself to carve out alone time with Jesus, even when I felt worn out. More often though, I had to learn to seek His presence in the midst of chaos. I played worship music in the house, listened to Scripture while driving, tuned into podcasts when I couldn’t sleep, and prayed while walking the dogs. This is how I learned to keep my mind and heart meditating on biblical truths.
- Finding Rest in Jesus for Our Weary Souls: This season of weariness and distress forced me to simplify my schedule and solidified my identity in Christ. Out of necessity, I had to withdraw from activities that didn’t involve caring for my family. I no longer had the opportunity in my life to engage in the “good” things I used to do outside my home. Eventually, I realized that God had lovingly stripped away all the roles and activities I had used to define my identity. I was no longer the attentive friend, biblical counselor, gracious hostess, or the one who provided meals. I was simply a child of God, and that was more than enough. I found rest in knowing who I was in Christ (Romans 5:1-2). I do not need to strive for God’s love, affection, compassion, or favor (Ephesians 3:8-9). Christ had already completed the work for me, and I could rest in the assurance that all was well with my soul. The King of the Universe delighted in me and attended to my cries for help (Psalm 34:15-19). I served my family before the audience of One, trusting that He would provide for my every need.
- His Grace is Sufficient: During this season of my life, due to physical issues, sleep often eluded me. I could fall asleep within minutes, but most nights only brought 3-4 hours of fitful rest. When I stumbled out of bed each morning, I felt ill-prepared for the day’s challenges. How could I be a helpmate to my husband? I felt like I had nothing to give. How could I serve my children with kindness rather than irritation? My emotions were already raw and prickly. I found great comfort in realizing that I only had to do what God had scheduled for me that day—nothing more (Ephesians 2:10). There were no extra tasks going on my agenda! I held God to His promise of providing all the grace I needed for that day. I believed that I could complete the tasks He had ordained for me with kindness and patience, relying on His strength and endurance alone (2 Corinthians 12:9; Colossians 1:9-14). I chose to trust that God had given me the exact amount of sleep I needed the night before, and my “daily bread” would be provided at the perfect time (Psalm 127:2; Matthew 6:9-11; 25-34). The peace and rest I experienced during this time were rooted in the knowledge that every detail of my uncertain life was sovereignly orchestrated by my good God, who knew precisely what I needed (Daniel 4:35). I could rest in these truths.
Sometimes, rest comes in the form of a nap, a vacation, a leisurely walk, or an extended conversation over coffee with a dear friend. But more often, the true, soul-satisfying rest we need is to a bigger view of Jesus Christ amidst the chaos of life. I thank God that He has weaned me of my idolatrous love of productivity unto a deeper love for my Saviour and His will for my life. Elizabeth Elliot perfectly summarizes a believer’s heart posture to yield to God in this way: “The willingness to be and to have just what God wants us to be and have, nothing more, nothing less, and nothing else, would set our hearts at rest, and we would discover the simpler life, the greater peace.”1Elliot, Elisabeth. Through Gates of Splendor. 1st Harper Chapelbook ed. New York, Harper, 1965. And when we submit ourselves to God’s good, perfect will, our souls are weaned and rested in Him (Psalm 131). The spiritual rest that God provides is our perfect rest.
