Dale Johnson: I am so delighted to have my good friend here with me, Dr. Keith Palmer. He’s the associate pastor at Grace Bible Church in Granbury Texas and he’s the director for the center of biblical counseling and discipleship. He holds degrees from Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University, The Master’s Seminary and the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary as well as Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary where he received a PhD. Keith and I had the opportunity to work together there. He’s a fellow and board member with us here at ACBC and he’s also an instructor of biblical counseling at The Master’s University, as well as a Chaplain for the Civil Air Patrol which is an auxiliary of the United States Air Force. His passion in ministry is shepherding God’s people through the teaching and counseling of the Scriptures. He is married to Lisa and together they have been blessed with three children, Alan, Amy, and Eric. Keith and his family have been members at Grace Bible since 2002. Brother, it’s so good to be with you. It is always a good time when we get to spend some time together.
Keith Palmer: Thank you, likewise. I’m happy to be here.
Dale Johnson: We’re going to talk today about counseling homework. This is a part of the nuts and bolts of the process of biblical counseling in how we think about change happening and our desire to put forward the Scriptures as being really the most important part, along with the work of the Spirit in someone’s life. So, I’m eager to talk about this and remind lots of people of some fundamentals of biblical counseling. I want to start just with asking that question: What in the world is counseling homework? And why is it necessary or wise to assign homework in a counseling session?
Keith Palmer: Yeah. So, homework assignments are just items that we’re going to ask the counselee to do between the formal meetings. We can think of them as spiritual growth projects, really designed to help the counselee make progress in that area of struggle that has brought them to counseling. I think the reason that biblical counseling has long encouraged homework is not because we can find the word homework in our concordance, but because if you read the New Testament letters, you read the prophets, you read really from cover to cover in our Bibles that God is always encouraging the people of God to put their faith into action. Whether it’s the Apostle Paul writing to the Corinthians or something like that, it’s not just doctrine, it’s always doctrine applied to life and that’s really what we’re doing. We’re calling it homework, but that’s what it is. We’re trying to facilitate care, facilitate life change. So, there are several things that homework allows us to do in terms of facilitating that care. So, for example, it promotes biblical learning and application outside of the session. It’s going to build structure and accountability that aids growth. Most of us recognize we do better with a little bit of structure and that’s why that’s why schoolteachers gave us homework when we were going through school. Even doctoral advisors encourage us, if I remember right, Dale, when we were working together. So, homework promotes change in the life context of the counselee. So, it’s one thing for myself and a counselee to talk about a sort of theoretical change. We’re talking about a passage, we’re talking about a marriage, or an application to anxiety over finances or something like that. But it’s different when we ask them to then put that truth into practice in their family, with their marriage, with that difficult situation. So, homework is encouraging that application in the life context where the struggle is taking place. And then a couple other things, I think homework establishes responsibility on the part of the counselee for change. We want to encourage them to take that responsibility for their spiritual growth and not be overly dependent on us as counselors. One of my big things is just to build the homework around the spiritual disciplines, which God commands all Christians to do that. So, if you build homework around those spiritual disciplines such as Bible reading, prayer, Bible memorization, then we’re not asking the counselee to do something that God has not already asked them to do. So, it can build that in. Then just a couple others: Homework reinforces the biblical command James 1:22, “to be a doer of the Word, not just to hearer.” And oftentimes, we can figure out who’s really serious about counseling and who just wants to talk, so that’s helpful to us. Then finally, it does help us to have an objective basis for measuring progress. So, we’re always trying to know: Are they getting it? Are they growing? Homework can find something of an objective benchmark for making that determination.
Dale Johnson: Yeah, I think that objective benchmark is really critical in this whole process. One of the ways that I think about it is making sure that we’re encouraging people not to simply become hearers of the Word, right? There are so many warnings in Scripture about our passivity and just being a hearer of the Word. Jesus, in Matthew chapter 7. James follows that up in 1:22 and following. There’s a call for us to do what the Word says. And so, it’s a way for us to measure that process. That progress is the Spirit working in their life: Do they have the ability, with the power of the Spirit, to do the things that God is calling them to do? So, objective sort of standards. Again, as you’re evaluating, that’s such a key point that you’re seeing, Keith. What kind of progress are they really making? So now we move into some goals. In counseling we always want to have particular goals. We’d like to see things happen in a person’s life, the things that God would desire to see in their lives. So, how do we take counseling goals and how do those goals influence us in building more strategic homework.
Keith Palmer: Yeah, I can hear one of my mentors, Randy Patten, in my ears right now talking about how, “we don’t want to just have vague sort of purposeless, busyness for homework, but it needs to be specific.” And I think if we could call it purpose-driven homework. What we’re thinking about is in the counseling context, we’ve established a relationship, what we call involvement. We’ve listened. We’ve gathered data to try to get an understanding of the person and their situation. And at some point, we want that agenda to crystallize into: Where are we going? What are we trying to accomplish? And once that is established, then I think wise homework just becomes a means to sort of move the ball down the field toward that goal. So, think about how does each homework assignment actually direct us toward fulfilling that goal? So, for example, if we’re thinking about data gathering, which is one of those things we’re always doing in counseling, not on just those first few sessions. So, by giving homework assignments that are strategic in terms of gathering needed data that goal drives certain excitement. So, for example, with a very complicated case with complicated past, complicated story. Rather than try to get all that out verbally over several sessions, ask them to do a written assignment to sort of encapsulate their life story and focus on events and persons and in situations that help them. Or if the goal is to educate them more in the Word of God and we’ve done some of that in the session, but we know there’s more to learn. So, a homework assignment can assist the counselee to learn more biblical truth relevant for the area of struggle or as we were just mentioning can also serve the goal of evaluation. It helps both the counselee and counselor learn more about the counseling situation, you know, how are they doing it? It aids in the spiritual disciplines, as we mentioned. You can think you know, if you build counseling homework around the spiritual disciplines, then long after the formal counseling has been accomplished, hopefully they continue in those disciplines for the rest of their life. Another goal might be application. You just talked about being a doer of the Word, so good homework is going to facilitate application of truth to life. It’s going to help with the goal of the change process. It’s not just education, it’s education that leads to transformation and homework is going to bridge that gap between biblical learning and biblical transformation. And so, we structure homework in a way that facilitates that change process.
Dale Johnson: That’s helpful as we think about the goals. I want to talk a little bit about the ingredients of counseling homework. Keith, I don’t know about you but when I first started, there were a lot of different places I would go as a clueless young counselor. “Okay Lord, you’re giving me this particular case. It’s something I maybe am not super familiar with. Okay, I need to go study the Scriptures and I need to find other people who have talked about this before I have.” And so, I remember going to homework manuals like Wayne Mack’sThree-volume set, or the Self-Confrontation manual. Or even reading some of the puritans, where they don’t divide things out in the homework, but they always give working towards some form of solution. And just seeing how they use the passages of Scripture to encourage or to confront or whatever the case might be. Some of the early reading in biblical counseling, you would always have it coupled with passages that were really critical. Some oftentimes suggested good homework, and so I remember early on sort of using some of those. As I got more comfortable with different types of problems, in the things that the Bible would say about those, and homework that were really effective to help somebody, I started to put some of those things together, create more, fit into, mold it to make it my own. You know, to where it now seems like it’s something that’s very common and natural and normal and I’m not rigid following some sort of script or something like that. But it was certainly that way early on and I feel like that’s grown in me. Talk about some of the ingredients that make biblical counseling homework effective and helpful for individuals and how you construct and bring those things together.
Keith Palmer: Yeah, well, you just mention two good ones. One is just experience and one is examples of others, leaning on those books that you mentioned. And then, another thing I would say is talk to your biblical counseling friends, talk to your pastor, talk to other people that are a couple of steps further in experience than you are and say, “Hey what do you do in a case like this?” or a case like that or even just generically, what do they do? I think we can help each other just by sharing ideas like that. So, it’s things like Bible reading, Bible meditation, Bible memorization. Again, all of these are static in the text, these are not negotiable, not optional. Again, I’m a big fan of “let’s encourage people in counseling homework to be obedient to do what God has already told all Christians to do.” So, Matthew 4:4 Jesus said, “Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God”. So, reading, learning, taking in the Word of God is not optional biblical meditation, right? Psalm 1:2 “in his law he meditates day and night”, right? This idea of meditation on the Word of God and then memorization or Psalm 119:11, “Your Word I have hidden in my heart that I might not sin against you”. But rather than just say, “Hey, read your Bible” or “meditate on the Bible”, what we want to do is direct the places in the Bible, the actual reading, the actual meditation, and memorization of passages that we know are particularly relevant to the area of struggle. So, it might be if we’re dealing with anxiety and worry, we might ask them to read the sermon on the mount: Matthew 5, 6 and 7, Knowing that chapter 6, especially is going to hone in on worry, but it frames it in the overall context of living our faith in the Christian life. Or they could read the book of Philippians, one chapter a day and find one verse in there to meditate on to think about the application of that truth to life. Knowing that we’re going to come up to Philippians 4 and focus in on that section in particular. Then make your memorization, you know, maybe, Philippians 4:6-7 or something like that for a memorization exercise. So, we’re doing the spiritual disciplines, but we’re directing them at particular places and passages that are going to serve those goals we talked about a moment ago. Intentional prayer for 1 Thessalonians 5:17, the idea of praying without ceasing. We want to see that both in closet prayer, particular prayer, but then just that regular throughout the day dependence on the Lord, in conversation, other spiritual disciplines like church, worship, and service, being involved in a local church, using your gifts to serve. Understanding that change is not a lone ranger exercise in the Christian life, but rather that change is a part of living in community, in a local church, and the practicing of the one another’s, and receiving those in the context of worshiping God together as a family. One that I think is a bit late to the game, at least formally in biblical counseling, I’ve written on this, other friends have written on this, I think we even have a break out this week at ACBC the annual conference, is the use of theological music. You think of Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3, the Psalms, and these other places in the Bible that tell us both through command and example, that singing and music and making melody in your heart is a normal part of a healthy Christian life. And that is why would we want to incorporate that as a part of our counseling homework and even just our overall worship. So, that’s a big part and I would encourage folks doing counseling to do that. Then finally what Randy Patten used to call doing assignments. James 1:22 again, we’re trying to get it out of education alone and into application that of course, leads to transformation.
Dale Johnson: Yeah, well said. And you may want to pause and go back and listen to all of those. And because what you’re describing is really, really critical because we’re trying to get some things into people’s lives. One of the things that’s important, I might have heard someone say it quite like this is, our growth is really a community project as we think about our relationship to the church. It’s not only receiving the one another’s, when we’re the person who’s in counseling or trying to receive some sort of wisdom from the Lord, but it’s also an opportunity for us to engage in some of those one another’s. That’s really helpful. Adding such deep meaning, purpose, and value to our own life as we serve the local body. Really well said, Keith. I think that’s really helpful. Now, I want to turn to a bit of a subject here, where anytime there is human involvement, Keith, we make mistakes, even with the best of intentions. And certainly, that’s the case when we engage somebody’s life. When there are messy things going on in people’s lives, and even though we may have good intentions, there are mistakes that are made. Sometimes they are just unintended consequences, but because we didn’t approach it in a right way or whatever. And so, talk to us about some of those things that we can try and avoid. And the fact that you and I are discussing these means that they’re common enough that you and I have probably made them, others have made them, and these are things we just need to be aware of. So, talk about some of those common mistakes.
Keith Palmer: Yeah, these are things we tripped over that we don’t want others to do, right? So, one thing I see working with my students and the folks I’m privileged to supervise is just being way too general, using general versus specific. So, think about, you know, read your Bible this week, follow your Bible reading plan versus saying read one chapter of Philippians each day, write down one verse that you find helpful, record the date and time when you read it, memorize Philippians 1:6 and be ready to recite it at the next session. So that’s a difference between vague, not bad, but very specific that’s going to move the ball down the field in terms of the goals. Another mistake would be you have something that’s so vague and subjective that you can’t really measure it. It’s like, if I’m vague, I can’t assess were they successful in the homework assignment or not. So, for example, you could say, “Confess your sin this week” versus “Seek forgiveness from your spouse, follow the steps we discussed in counseling.” Or, “Be sure to apologize” versus, you know, saying “Just go apologize, if needed this week” right? One is very specific, following the directions we discussed in counseling and then subjective versus objective right? When speaking to your children, strive to be gentle with your words and tone, patient when they don’t obey the first time. “Keep a daily journal of significant interactions with them this week, provide your analysis” versus “Just try to be nice to your kids this week, right? So, we’re trying to be specific, measurable, and objective.
Another thing I see in homework is that it’s just completely disconnected from the session. It’s good things that they’re asking them to do, but they don’t have any relevance directly to the session. So, for example, homework that connects directly would be things like homework assignments that address the main problem, situation, or care, a need, a ministry from the Word that provides care to that end application that facilitates a desired goal. Then homework that reinforces the Word and facilitates sanctification. So again, we’re trying to connect it. When we get more advanced and homework, you realize you’re looking both directions. Your homework assignment is looking backward to the previous session in terms of application, reinforcement, getting the Word in front of them every day, but it might also be preparatory in thinking toward the coming session and getting some things on the table that are going to help for that next session that’s coming. Some other just general issues, problems that I see just not preparing homework in advance, kind of way winging it in the session. Homework that’s disconnected from change is busy work, that’s not connected to the change process. Other mistakes, a failing to review the homework or failure to handle non-compliance. I used to be a schoolteacher. My wife and I are both schoolteachers, and now get to teach college students. It’s awesome, but if I don’t expect that homework is going to be done and have some sort of consequence, then the chances are a lot of students aren’t going to be taking that homework seriously. So, reviewing and handling non-compliance issues.
And then maybe one final thing, I see a lot of new counselors, just like you said, where it’s so overwhelming. “What do I do?” they have this pressure to do homework, so they’ll grab a book, and they’ll say, “oh, we’re going to just read this book together”, which is awesome, that’s great, but I always ask them. Are you committed to using that book in a way that’s responsible? Where they’re actually being a doer of the Word not just familiar and is that book going to best serve your counselee for six chapters, eight chapters, twelve chapters. And if the answer is no, or probably not, then maybe, take a couple of chapters and do them really, really well, promoting sanctification through it, rather than saying we’re just going to read through this whole book together. At that point, the book ends up controlling the agenda, instead of the counselor facilitating, the appropriate agenda for that counselee.
Dale Johnson: That’s really helpful. I’m going to add one because this was a context for me. I had just gotten out of seminary. You mentioned the reading of the book, so I’m going to confess. I was so excited about all the books that I had been reading. I was learning so much and as biblical counseling books are written they’re often addressing particular topics. I was so excited that the church had a budget, they had laid out that I could have all these resources, and I’m thinking, “Man, all this information from some of the guys that have written before us. I’m learning so much, and when people have these problems, they’re going to learn so much too.” Well, where I was ministering was a place that was a bedroom community for Jacksonville, Florida. Not many people had much more than high school education and I have all these books on my shelves. As I started to, you know, utilize some of those, and I could tell very early on some of the mistakes I was making. I was asking them to read this book, but they had not read a book since high school. Even if they had read a book in high school, and they stare at me, and they’re thinking, “if that’s what God requires for change, I don’t think I can do it.” And so, I learned a process of you know what, that’s not appropriate here. And so, I started to get either some of the booklets or something reduced down. Or I’d working on particular homework for them that was very specific stuff that they needed to accomplish in a week, that’s not overwhelming to them. Now they’re ready to dig in and they can see these are the things that are most important, that God requires. And I started to see really, really good movement. That was a mistake for me, that I learned in the process and just paying attention to that. I think it is wise and helpful and even being sensitive to illiteracy or a reading level, that’s lower. You know, we’re college-educated, and yet we’re going to minister to people where reading is a struggle. So, maybe it’s an audio recording. It’s something that’s more accessible there, but just knowing our people and not setting them up for failure in that way.
Keith Palmer: Yeah, absolutely critical.
Dale Johnson: Yeah. So, final thing maybe just to talk about. We always want to improve in everything that we do. We want to become excellent because we are representing Christ. We’re trying to mimic Christ in the way in which He cares for His own people and that’s a great stewardship. So, we want to improve in how we do these things. Specific to homework, can you talk a little bit about ways that counselors can improve their approach to homework.
Keith Palmer: I’d say as early as possible, start building a library of homework assignments. You come to the ACBC annual conference like this, you hear a great talk by, you know, Kevin Carson or, you know, and you’re like, “hey, I’m going to take those notes put them in a file, organize it by counseling topic, and now you begin to build a library of potential homework assignments.” We pastors talk about, you know, every situation of life as a potential sermon illustration, right? What will think of this every interaction I counselor has with a workshop, a book, a podcast, a sermon, is a potential homework assignment and so take a few minutes, when your pastor preaches, a great sermon on worry or fear or depression, to take that outline and turn it into something, that could be a homework assignment, throw it in your file and then, be surprised if you’re faithful to do that week after week, month after month, all of a sudden you’ve got this library. So, when you go to the file with a brand new topic you’ve never counseled, you may have something in the file. Again, you can do that on paper or electronicly, but that’s a big, big help. Add booklet study guides, conference notes, audio resources, like everything is a potential counseling homework assignment. I mentioned earlier, ask other biblical counselors what assignments they use. Again, talking about that community is the realm, the context of care. I think that goes in lots of different directions including how we can talk with other brothers and sisters that are doing counseling at our church formally or informally. Ask them what they do and learn from each other and share assignments. We have a database through dropbox, just a cloud-based file storage, that all of the counselors in our church have access to. We just drop stuff in there all the time so that we can benefit from one another’s things that have been developed. And then encourage your church to develop a library of counseling homework assignments. Either physical or electronic, just as a way of getting better at that. And then like we were talking about to just practicing, not being afraid to try new things, to take the time to develop a new assignment rather than do what you’ve always done, or what the next guy told you to do. Sometimes a fresh homework assignment, take a little bit of time to put something out that’s new, but directed toward your counselees’ need and you’ll find out, you know it’s a lot more effective because I’ve tailored it to the counselees’ need and I’m not just pulling something that’s generic.
Dale Johnson: Man, this has been so helpful, brother. And I pray this would be helpful to all of you. Even if you’ve been doing counseling for a long time, it’s always good to revisit these basics. If you’re new to the game, things like this are absolute gold. Where you can have somebody encourage you to walk through what homework you should be doing, how to be specific about it, and common mistakes that are there. And then ways to continue to grow to build a file of those things. Again, as you become more experienced, it will become much more natural to you in the way that you use the Word. Think about it rightly, and then help to apply it to people’s lives. Brother, thanks for leading us through this. Really appreciate it.
Keith Palmer: Thanks for having me.
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