My name is Amber Komatsu, and I am the membership services coordinator at NANC. I started working at NANC about 10 months ago, and it has been absolutely amazing [This conference message was recorded in 2013]. In the first six weeks of working, we had phone calls from every single continent except for Antarctica. I don’t really know why we don’t have a presence in Antarctica yet, but I’m just super grateful. I’m so thankful for the members that are in here. I just love serving you. It’s an honor and a joy. Anyway, I’m 29 years old and to give you some background, I just got married, and I have really wrestled with thinking through matters of purity. Our world is completely against the idea of living a life that honors the Lord.
I want to think about the culture in which we live. We are in the world, yet not of it. What does this mean? I think that there are two primary errors that our Christian culture and the church has often fallen into. One is legalism. We know that there are those who forbid marriage, and this is wrong. We know that by Scripture. The second is holding up singleness as a higher calling than marriage. We know that singleness is beneficial for being more freed up to serve the church, but it is not holier or a higher calling.
There are two ways that oftentimes believers fall into these wrong ways of thinking. I remember when I was younger saying, “I’m never going to get married,” thinking that singleness frees you up to serve, and this is the first error. The second way we often fall into error is liberalism. Sometimes the church has embraced the sexual morality that it is immersed in. I have friends who for one year, studied over in Germany at a seminary, and they made many friends at the seminary. They talked to different people, and had amazing conversations about doctrine, theology, and life. These people were hardcore on essentials of the Christian faith. They were so hardcore on the resurrection. Core doctrine that we would consider extremely valuable they held to. But they started talking about their personal lives, and it was not uncommon for these seminary students who upheld these beliefs to live with one another and to have kids. My friends, Guy and Virginia, had friends who were getting married and having their child christened at their wedding. It was not thought of as strange. Virginia told her story that they waited to have sex until they were married, and they were laughed at. Their friends thought it was comical that someone actually believed that what Paul says about pursuing purity and morality is what you ought to do. Guy and Virginia had a hard time understanding them and thought, Are you Believers? The doctrine is here, but the practice is not. That’s a very dangerous pitfall the church can fall into. I have no idea about the salvation of these individuals, but it is intriguing that they held to these doctrines, but in their personal lives, they had an entirely different hermeneutic for understanding Paul. They looked at the moralism that they saw in his teachings as leftovers from his Judaism, and that’s how they could throw these things out. Absolutely bizarre, terrible, and just sad.
We also see this in I Corinthians 5:1-2, which says, “It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife. And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you.” So, we see this even in the early church. It’s not only today that we see these types of things; It’s throughout history. I think it’s very tempting for us to look at our culture and think that it is in one sense more corrupt.
When I got engaged, I started going on Pinterest and looking at all these things and was so excited. I started seeing these ads for boudoir shoots. The idea was to get these pictures taken in your lingerie and have it as an engagement gift for your fiancé. I’m shocked by this. This is so common that nobody blinks at it in our culture, and it’s very easy for Christians to be influenced by that in our thinking, and it’s just terrible. This is not something that’s necessarily new; it’s very old. The problem is that today we have so much more available. The internet communicates everything, and back in old times you had to be present to see something immoral going on. Now you just pull it up on your computer. Our culture is inundated with this stuff.
We see this kind of content all around us. How do we as believers saturate ourselves in the Word and have the Word dictate to us what purity looks like and not have the world influence us wrongly? That’s really the problem. The Word is our guide to understanding what the Lord requires of us. We must continually be saturated with the Word and the principles therein that show us how to conduct ourselves in the world without being a part of it. We are called and even commanded to be lights to a wicked and perverse generation, and we need the Word of God to inform what this looks like. There’s great hope because if we are saved and if we have the Holy Spirit, we have the same power that raised Jesus from the dead to enable us to fight this sin. It’s hard in our culture, but it can be done with the power of the Spirit and paying attention to the Word.
Effects of the Cross
Salvation fuels good works and the pursuit of holiness. First, let’s look at what Titus 3:4-8 says, “But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. The saying is trustworthy, and I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed in God, may be careful to devote themselves to good works. These things are excellent and profitable for people.” One thing that I love about this passage is that it so clearly shows us that good works do nothing to gain us a standing before the Lord. Salvation is what brings good works. Salvation comes before; it does not come after the good works. Salvation fuels the good works. If there is salvation, there will and must be good works. “Not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy,” but he doesn’t stop there. He says, we have to be “careful to devote (ourselves) to good works.” Good works flow out of salvation. We have to keep that in mind. If we get this mixed up, we become legalistic. It’s a really harmful way of thinking.
Second, our lives preach a sermon. People are watching. Titus 2:1-10 says, “But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. Bondservants are to be submissive to their own masters in everything; they are to be well-pleasing, not argumentative, not pilfering, but showing all good faith, so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior.” This is an amazing passage. The first part says, “teach what accords with sound doctrine.” What does “accords with sound doctrine” mean? Oftentimes we think of high theological things like the Trinity, and that is very helpful, but this passage shows us that what doctrine looks like when it’s being lived out is young women loving their husbands and having self-control. It’s being pure, working at home, and being kind and submissive. It’s amazing to see how right thinking and right understanding of the Word is going to affect our lives in very practical ways. Scripture says that we adorn the doctrine of God our Savior. It also says that women are to be “submissive to their own husbands, that the Word of God may not be reviled.” That means that we can make the Word of God beautiful by our lives and how we are imitating and obeying what the Lord says to us in Scripture.
The passage continues with verses 11-14: “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.” I just love that Scripture. We exist to walk in the good works that the Lord has given us, and we know what these are because of Scripture.
The Call and the Command
We know we’re to do good works. They come from salvation; they do not bring salvation. They are evidence and fruit of it. The call for purity and the practical pursuit of holiness is where it gets hard. We can have these things in our minds, but actually finding out what it looks like to live this way in this world can be a very difficult thing. As believers, we are free to be constrained to the boundaries of Scripture. We must let Scripture and not our culture determine what it looks like to be lights to a wicked and perverse generation. We need to pursue purity in action. We see in I Timothy 4:12 that we are to “Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers, an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.” This again is showing others the beauty of the Lord in our lives and setting an example to others, unbelievers and believers alike.
II Timothy 2:22 says, “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” First, we are to flee youthful passions. We are to run away from them and pursue hard after righteousness. Another passage that is helpful is I Corinthians 6:18-20, which says, “Flee from sexual morality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you whom you have from God? You are not your own for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” Philippians 2:14-16 says, “Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.” These passages show us that we have to pursue obedience to this in our actions. We can’t only sit down and pray really hard and think, Okay, I’m just going to be pure now. We actually have to take action steps to pursue obedience and righteousness, and it gets rough.
Second, we can’t only do this in action, but we also have to do this in our mind. This is where the battle gets particularly interesting because no one else besides God knows what goes on in our minds. You’re the only one who can see your heart and knows what you’re thinking and what you’re dealing with. Here is a verse that show us how we are to pursue purity in our thoughts: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things,” writes Paul in Philippians 4:8.
If we use this verse in every moment of the day in our thoughts, we would be so helped in making decisions and understanding how to answer the questions What do I put before my eyes? What do I not? What are some boundaries that have to create for myself? They are very helpful and clear verses. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Pursuing purity in our thoughts involves thought renewal as well as understanding the thoughts that are in our head and understanding how we’re going to fight those thoughts.
We’re called and commanded to pursue purity, but what does this practically look like? We see it in Scripture; we can affirm it’s there. How do we actually put this into practice in a world where you watch TV and a commercial pops up, and it’s just heinous stuff? Magazine covers and Facebook ads assault us. I’ve been on Facebook, and my husband walks in right when a terrible ad pops-up. How do we renounce ungodliness and worldly passions and live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age? How do we flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness and think about all things true, honorable, and pure?
I’m going to get really practical regarding how to put these verses into action. Let’s look at the three categories of “in singleness,” “in relationship,” and then “in engagement.” The primary objective in singleness is to honor and glorify the Lord. That’s it. That is the prime objective. And that objective doesn’t ever change in any season that we’re in. This should saturate a person’s mind during this time. It is a mind that is fixed upon the Lord in his glory that prepares one for the battle for purity and before surprise attacks come. Something that is important to keep in mind is that the fight for purity in singleness is just simply a foundation for pursuing purity and honoring the Lord for the rest of your life. Faithfulness in singleness will have great effect on faithfulness in the future. I’ve been married for two and a half months, and I’ve discovered that it’s not easier to fight sin being married. In a sense, I have to fight harder. When I’m talking to girls who are really struggling in singleness, I want to encourage them that the fight now is so important. It’s so important to seek the Lord now and to fight for purity. You’re honoring the Lord. If the Lord decides you will marry someday, you’re honoring your husband, even during this time when you fight for purity in your singleness. I think this thought is a helpful tool for fighting for purity in singleness.
Tools for the Fight for Purity in Singleness
Let’s look at some key tools for fighting for purity. The first one is prayer. Pray a lot and pray often. Get on the floor and just seek the Lord. Pray that the Lord helps you to honor Him.
It is easy for us to only think of ourselves. Selfishness was a sin I dealt with. It might be wallowing in self-pity or always wanting something else, but when you’re praying, it’s harder to sin. Seek the Lord and ask for His grace. This is essential and foundational for fighting for purity as well as fighting for thankfulness and gratefulness during this time.
Second, it is important to cultivate a thankful heart and a belief that the Lord is always good. A person in his or her singleness can always say, “He’s always good to me. I’m thankful for His goodness.” There is no better situation than the situation the Lord has you in. And it’s just helpful to think on His sovereignty during this time. I think that focusing on the Lord’s goodness and the Lord’s sovereignty will cultivate a thankful heart, and that is a huge key in battling for purity.
Third, another key tool for fighting for purity is suffering. Elizabeth Elliott wrote a book called The Path of Loneliness. I had that book for two years before I picked it up because of the title. One day I picked it up and read through it in about one sitting. I don’t have the quote, but, essentially, she says that we have to use our suffering as fuel for worship. The truth is that one way to fight for our purity is to allow our suffering and sadness to lead us to the Lord.
Fourth, we need to renew our minds with truth. Our mind is a very interesting battlefield. I remember a time about three years ago that I was sitting in front of a mirror putting on makeup. It was around 6:30 in the morning, and I was getting ready for work. As I sat there, a thought popped into my head. Oh, what if I married that person? I think every single person has had that happen to them. Then I thought What if we got married in six months? Oh, we could have these kids. I kept going, and the thoughts weren’t necessarily sinful, but they weren’t helpful. They were not true of me in that moment, and I caught myself creating this fantasy world for Amber Walsh: I’m married. I have six kids, and I homeschool them. And, in about five minutes I realized what was going on. I wasn’t thinking that this was necessarily sinful, but this wasn’t true, and, therefore, it wasn’t helpful. I had to put these thoughts off. Then I had an amazing moment when I thought, Well, what is true of me. This isn’t true, but what is true right now? It’s true that I’m going to work, and I get to serve an earthly master, and in doing that, I get to honor the Lord. And, later on tonight, I get to spend time with my roommates, and I get to encourage them. It is so important to renew our mind with truth. The mind can be a huge battleground for women, and if we feed it, we can go crazy with all of these thoughts.
Know Your Own Weaknesses
It’s so important to know yourself and your own temptations and weaknesses. We see so much emphasis put on men who struggle with pornography and images. Women can struggle with them, too. Movies, TV shows, social media, magazines, novels, and time management are all areas of our lives that need discernment. There are certain movies that I would watch as a “chick flick.” Some may be innocent enough, but then a scene would pop up, and I would think, “Oh my goodness, this is not helpful.” Sometimes we just don’t think about how women are affected or impacted by the way romance is portrayed in movies or novels. We may not be visually aroused like men, but movies can cause us to think things that we wouldn’t think if we weren’t watching them. It would bother me to see you kissing. I’d be thinking, “Oh, my goodness. I can’t watch this.” Understand where your battle is and take it very seriously. Set boundaries for yourself.
Novels can be dangerous. I’ve seen some Christian novels that no one should read. Just because Jesus is talked about in one chapter does not qualify it as a worthy book. There was a Christian author as I was growing up, who had written many books, and they’re not necessarily bad. There’s nothing in them that’s wrong, but the books would get me thinking untrue thoughts. I might think I wish I was this character. That might not be wrong inherently, but you have to understand how you are responding to this book? Am I wanting to be in it? Am I wanting to live out these events?
Time management can be another huge issue during singleness. I think that sometimes we can be way too busy, and we need to cut things out so we can refocus on what’s important. On the other hand, too much free time is not going to help a person’s battle to be thankful and to fight for purity during singleness. They may need to fill their time with good things such as serving at church, finding a family to make a meal for, getting involved in a Bible study or in mentoring younger girls at church, every woman is a younger woman to someone and an older woman to someone. That means we should always be mentored by someone, but we should also be pouring into young girls’ lives. Serving the Lord is a good way to fight for purity and holiness.
Modesty
Another issue that is important to think about as we pursue purity is modesty. This helps our brothers and encourages others, whether we are single or married. Growing up, I read so many books on purity and dressing modestly. But I think some of these books had the wrong motivation. Some of them were not teaching good works and dressing modestly to honor and please the Lord. They taught that we have to be careful how we dress because our brothers can’t handle it. The conclusion being that you have to dress a certain way. This is not helpful. It is good to honor our brothers in how we dress, but the primary objective needs to be honoring the Lord by dressing modestly. This includes not showing cleavage or wearing skintight pants and really short shorts and skirts.
Another area that I’ve almost never seen covered in books for women pursuing purity is modest behavior. I knew some girls when I was growing up who always wore long skirts. They always had shirts that were very high or wore turtlenecks, but their behavior was so immodest. It’s a matter of humility versus pride and arrogance and having a servant’s heart that seeks to serve others and serve the Lord versus attention-getting speech and selfish actions.
We also need to be quick to encourage versus quick to tear down or complain. We need to have a heart of gratitude and thankfulness versus selfishness and self-pity. I think that we can dress modestly, and then we can behave immodestly because we are wanting attention. These are areas that even I have to fight, and I’m married. These are areas we can struggle with whether we are married or single.
Relational Purity
We need to fight for purity in relationships as well. The primary objective is always to honor and glorify the Lord. But fighting for purity in a relationship alongside a brother is going to look a bit different from fighting for purity in the midst of singleness. Again, a key tool for fighting here is prayer. This has to be a daily mindset that you’re dwelling in the Lord, seeking Him at all times, and praying for help and strength to honor Him and to honor the brother that you’re in a relationship with. Clear communication with a boyfriend is key. I have so many friends that got involved in relationships that were heavy on the emotion end of things, but very weak on communication. One area that is essential is to set up boundaries before they’re even needed. Issues to talk through are hand-holding, hugs, and kissing. Are these things that you’re going to do or not do?
I would not argue kissing is always a sin, though, I do think it’s extremely unhelpful before marriage. It does not help you to make an informed decision during this time. It’s something to really evaluate biblically and thoughtfully. Think about what your standards will be before you get into a relationship, and then have that conversation with your boyfriend early in the relationship. When we were dating, Trevor and I decided to think about whether or not we could thank the Lord in this moment for what we’re doing. And, if we couldn’t, that would be a really good sign that we shouldn’t be doing it. For us, it’s going to sound bizarre, but we held hands a couple of times and realized that it was not helpful for us. Not everyone would struggle with purity while holding hands, but we realized that we can’t sit here and thank the Lord for this moment. These are gray areas that may seem so innocent. I just couldn’t handle it. But they become not so gray when you are asking Can I be thankful in this moment for this and praise the Lord for it? That helps things to become more crystal clear in understanding if this is a helpful activity; Is it pure or is it unhelpful and could lead to sexual impurity or at least impurity in the mind.
Another thing that’s really good is involving an older godly man, preferably a father but maybe a pastor or small group leader. Having a male authority figure who is godly, seasoned, and wise is especially important for the women in these relationships. This relationship can help to protect her and be helpful for the boyfriend to know that he has accountability. He can’t do whatever he wants; there is accountability and a male figure overseeing the relationship. This can look very different in so many situations. Some of my girlfriends lived at home until they were married and then moved out. Some of my girlfriends were married at thirty-one or thirty-two, and that looked different. In those situations, the overseer could be a pastor or a small group leader in the town she lived in.
While boundaries are helpful, they do not guarantee success. The battle for purity and the success of boundaries starts in our thinking. When Trevor and I were dating, we were sitting at a little café one Friday afternoon on our college campus, chatting about theology. I love theology. I love to talk about it, and we’re just chatting about some really dry theological issue. I don’t even know what it was when all of a sudden, I realized that the table was common grace. If the table wasn’t there, I would have wanted to start kissing him so hard. Then I thought about these boundaries we set up and why they’re in place. I’m sitting at a table in a public setting, and in my mind, I’m thinking, “Oh, my goodness!” I had never kissed before, so I didn’t know what I was missing, but I knew it was probably really good! I thought I’m in a completely neutral setting. I’m sitting in a public area, and I am battling these thoughts in my mind so hard right now. I guess I was thinking that the doctrine of sanctification was just amazing, and I clearly remember thinking, My goodness! We’re barely holding hands, and I can’t handle it, and he can’t either. We’re sitting at a table, and in my mind, I am fighting a hard battle right now and thinking that, Wow, Amber! You can’t not fight. You can’t have your guard down.
Retraining the Mind
Sometimes a retraining of the mind is needed in order to understand what care and love actually look like. I have a good friend who is a new believer. Every relationship that she had been in, before she was saved was sexually immoral. She was used to sex being a way that she received affection from guys. I love this girl; I’ve never met someone so zealous to learn what the Bible says and to apply it to her life. She started dating a guy at her church who had some really good boundaries set up and who really desired to seek and honor the Lord. His convictions led him to choose not to touch her. They could talk, go on dates, and have fun, but “no touching.” She just had a terribly hard time understanding that this was a good thing. I understood that all she had ever known before was men taking advantage of her and going along with it. She really had to work at understanding that this man is loving and caring for her more now than anyone ever had before, and it looks different from other relationships. But she had to fight hard to retrain her mind. Oftentimes, that’s the case. Praise the Lord that we can renew our mind and be retrained as to what love and care look like.
Accountability
It is extremely important to have accountability in your relationships. I think it is key in relationships to have community. Be in the church, and be involved. Be in your care group or community group, and be around those you know and not just those who you do not know. You can be in public and be around people and do whatever you want because no one is really going to care. I think that primarily a Christian relationship should be lived out in community because you’re going to be receiving wisdom from older women and older men who know how to speak wisdom into the situation. The world doesn’t care. You can go to a park and do whatever you want, and the world is not going to blink an eye. I think, as a general rule, we should stay in the presence of other believers. If you can, it’s not always possible, be in the context of the Christian community as often as you possibly can.
Mentoring
This is along the lines of having a male authority figure, but involve a godly, seasoned couple in your lives. This is so important to have someone who can speak truth and be there to give wisdom when we don’t know what to do or are struggling.
Engagement
The primary objective here is to honor and glorify the Lord alongside the man that a woman marries. The key that never changes is that we want everything to honor and glorify the Lord. Having that as a mindset undergirding everything makes this battle so much easier because it’s the foundation on which everything rests.
Pray! Engagement is a very intense time of close, but not yet. She may be thinking I’m engaged. This is it. To the best of my knowledge, I’m marrying this man. But I’m not married to him yet. It’s just a very strange season, and there can be some very interesting battles during that season. It’s okay now to think about this man as her husband, but he’s not yet. So, it’s a matter of finding that place of holding things loosely and knowing that this is probably what’s going to happen. The Lord has been kind to bless them to this point, but they’re not entirely sure until they say yes at the altar.
I think that oftentimes during engagement, we have a tendency to loosen up on any boundaries that were created during the dating period. The reasoning is Well, I’m marrying him, so now everything’s okay. But that’s not true. And, I would argue that a person really needs to tighten up on the boundaries and press in harder.
The need for boundaries becomes more intense during engagement. It’s so important to not be fooled into thinking that it is going to get easier to fight for purity with your fiancé, just because you’re getting married. I think it actually gets much harder because in one sense you know that marriage is coming and, with it, the marriage bed.
My friend is getting married in a month and a half. She got engaged two weeks ago, and she’s thinking Okay, a month and a half. I need to fight harder than I did for the previous three months. It may seem like a short amount of time would be really easy to lighten up and not really care, but it’s been encouraging to see her fight harder and set more boundaries and be very careful to involve themselves in community. You’re not married until you say your vows to one another. It’s so easy for girls to think I’m engaged. Now everything is okay. No, when you’re married everything is okay and pure and right. When you’re engaged it still isn’t. You have to fight harder in that time.
Guard your communication and your speech. It’s easy during engagement to start talking about things that you do need to talk about in one sense, but can be challenging in your fight for purity. This is another area that we need to be really careful in. Can I thank the Lord for this moment and this conversation we’re having or is it causing me to think impure thoughts and really want things right now I’m not supposed to be wanting?
Finally, fight hard for your purity to honor Jesus and increase your joy in marriage. When Trevor and I had just gotten engaged (we had a six-month long engagement), we were both in school full-time. Life was crazy. I was working full time. He was working 30 hours a week. The week after we were engaged, we were at our favorite coffee shop, and I really wanted to hold his hand. I felt stupid for even thinking that I couldn’t hold his hand. Let’s just hold hands, you know? And he looked at me as if he was thinking, I want to hold your hand, too, but I just can’t. It would not be helpful in this battle right now. We both looked at each other and realized that we couldn’t hold hands because we knew our minds. We couldn’t have what we wanted right now, and we wanted to honor Jesus more than we wanted this sin, so we developed a way of saying, “We’re storing up future joy by denying ourselves in this moment and in this pleasure right now, I am building up so much joy for marriage, and I’m so grateful. The Lord humbled us and helped us to fight.
The biggest thing that helps a woman fight in this area is the understanding that we honor and glorify the Lord in our actions and our thoughts. This is the main goal in all of our lives. My mom has been married thirty-two years. And I love talking to these older, married women because they tell me that marriage is about honoring and glorifying the Lord. A husband doesn’t fill you up and satisfy you in the ways that Jesus does. That just makes me love my husband more because I can just accept things and know that we are fighting sin together.
In singleness, dating, and engagement, the key thing to remember is that we have to honor and glorify the Lord in everything that we do. And this battle doesn’t change. Pray that the Lord enables you to fight hard in those areas; it’s fruitful when you’re single, it’s fruitful when you’re dating, and it’s fruitful when you’re engaged because it only helps you fight more when you’re married. I’ve been married two and a half months, so I don’t know what’s coming, but I know that I’m trusting the Lord to help in the battles that are ahead and praying that these principles continue to help.