Alt-rock band R.E.M. was on to something in their soulful hit, “Everybody Hurts”—everybody hurts sometimes, everybody cries, everybody hurts sometimes, so hold on, hold on. Everyone hurts.
Suffering and pain are universal. Paul reminds us of this reality when he writes in Romans 8 that our world has been “subjected to futility” and is in “bondage to corruption.” (Romans 8:20-21) He goes on to say that this suffering has not only permeated our world, but also humanity itself—“We ourselves, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly…” (Romans 8:23) Because of this, pain and suffering serve as fertile ground for fruitful ministry and encouragement. Every person you meet has a story of suffering and pain.
Pastor Dave Furman has written a moving book, which helps us love those who are hurting. Dave is no armchair quarterback in matters of pain and suffering; he writes as one who has first-hand knowledge of such things. In the introduction to the book, Dave details his battle with acute nerve damage in his arms. The repercussions of which impact every area of life—from cutting a steak at a restaurant to picking up his children. Readers will be humbled by Dave’s vulnerability and transparency as he shares his personal struggles.
Some in similar situations might have found themselves embittered while others find themselves the victim. Dave wisely strikes a balance between both extremes and uses his personal experience to help equip you and I for thoughtful and compassionate care. Readers will find the counsel to be both biblical and practical. Beginning in chapter one, Dave rightly orients the reader to the perspective of the caregiver, an oft-overlooked vantage point. The caregiver endures their own story of loss and suffering, and must ultimately look to Christ for hope and strength. Gloria, Dave’s wife and ministry partner, concludes the book with a personal note giving testimony to the grace of God in their life.
Several opportunities for application of the book immediately became apparent to me as I read it. For the counselor and friend who is seeking to care for the hurting, Dave’s counsel and reflections will provide ample avenues for ministry. Of equal help and importance are his warnings of what not to say which he helpfully includes in chapter eight. The book concludes with an excellent annotated bibliography of specific resources connecting to each chapter’s content.
So, indeed while it is true that everybody hurts, we are rightly exhorted and encouraged to do something about that reality. This book is a faithful testimony of Dave’s attempts to use his pain and suffering and point us to the gospel and comfort found in Jesus Christ. Humbly and faithfully he embodies Paul’s declaration that those who suffer affliction, “may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction…so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort, too.”