Many approaches to conflict resolution view the marriage relationship as consisting of two distinct individuals. Each strategy assumes that all is fair in love and war, since the goal is to protect self. Anything goes as long as you get what you want out of the marriage in the end. Rather than thinking of the marriage as a skirmish between two competing teams, it is better to think of the relationship as one team with one common goal. Both the husband and wife are to give of themselves for the sake of proclaiming the glory of Christ.
T. Dale Johnson, Jr. is Executive Director of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors and Associate Professor of Biblical Counseling at Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.